1. Don't feel obligated if it's not an obligation:
Sometimes, after you're feeling overwhelmed, overcommitted, or overworked, you have to say no to stuff. That's not to say you should slack off from your responsibilities, such as going to work, or class, or taking care of your grandparents or something like that, but if it's not an obligation, don't do it if you're forcing yourself to. For instance, it's silly to make yourself feed your children if you're not really excited about it (kidding, but you get the idea).
Sometimes this also means letting go of things you intended to do if there's really no time to do them. This is sort of like prioritizing your goals and focusing your energy into a few of them. Maybe some day you can return to that goal later, but if there's really no time to devote to it, then maybe now isn't the time. It's better to stick with just a few things and put your time and energy into those than spread yourself thin and accomplish nothing.
Additionally, it's better to devote your time things that are more meaningful and purposeful. I was reading about this in a blog called Zenhabits the other day about how we should make everything we do count, and it got me thinking about some of the things I do that aren't serving a purpose for me in my life. For instance, I would go to such-and-such a club if I weren't so busy, but if I'm not really having fun, or making friends, or learning anything when I do go, then is there really a point for me to go? That's not to say someone else can't enjoy it, but that it's just not for me.
Finally, make your goals realistic and don't be obligated to something if it's unrealistic. Find out what's really important to you, and stick with that. In general, if it's more realistic, it's going to be more beneficial too.
(Please, babies can feed themselves, jk jk)
Additionally, it's better to devote your time things that are more meaningful and purposeful. I was reading about this in a blog called Zenhabits the other day about how we should make everything we do count, and it got me thinking about some of the things I do that aren't serving a purpose for me in my life. For instance, I would go to such-and-such a club if I weren't so busy, but if I'm not really having fun, or making friends, or learning anything when I do go, then is there really a point for me to go? That's not to say someone else can't enjoy it, but that it's just not for me.
Finally, make your goals realistic and don't be obligated to something if it's unrealistic. Find out what's really important to you, and stick with that. In general, if it's more realistic, it's going to be more beneficial too.
2. Be spontaneous, be silly:
This is a big one for me. There's nothing like letting yourself have a little fun or be a little goofy in the midst of all the regular ho-hum in life. Even if there's no time to sit down and play a board game or watch a movie, there's always time to skip-and-flail or be a little silly, even when it's something you have to do. Or instead of being silly, just do something unusual for you, something you wouldn't normally do, like taking a hot bath or reading something that puts you at ease. Besides, who is going to stop you, really? NO ONE CAN STOP ME! MWAHAHAHAHAAAAA! >:D (kidding)
(I DO WHAT I WANT!)
3. Let icky things roll off you like you're rain-x:
In other words don't over-analyze things so much. Sometimes when things go wrong, it's not just about "forgiving yourself", but not blaming yourself either. Often times it's best to just not blame anyone all together. As you do this, you'll start to notice how much others do this too; people just aren't interested in analyzing every little thing and that's pretty liberating to me. It's even more liberating to implement this around people who tend to over-analyze things; it shows them that they can relax a little and let more go. Relax, it's [probably] going to be ok.
(Be one with the rain-x.....haha)
What can be even more liberating, is when you choose to let go of control; controlling other people and situations. You'll find that stepping back from control is another way of giving yourself a break. You don't always have to have things your way, and sometimes tagging along for the ride can be an adventure! Plus, when you agree that it's okay to disagree, you have decided that peace is more important to you. Isn't peace what you need when you're stressed?
Another way of looking at this idea is this: hold onto what is good, find the good in things. Don't focus so much on what isn't good, and focus instead on what is. Choose to be happy. Sometimes, happiness must be a choice.
4. Moan for a while, then maybe laugh a little too and... Practice some perspective:
It sounds odd, I know, but sometimes when I'm stressed, the only way to express it is find a private place, sit on my floor, and just moan and roar. Besides, who is going to stop me? Who is it really hurting? Obviously this does nothing to really change or fix a situation, but neither does crying, although sometimes crying leads to self-pity or anger, and that can actually make things worse. But moaning? Moaning is actually pretty hilarious. When I moan, I start to laugh too, because it's hilarious to me that I have been driven to it. It's so strange that its actually funny. Laughing is actually very therapeutic. I think there is something in existence called laugh therapy. Check it out:
(it's hard to imagine who wouldn't laugh at this >_>)
After a bit of moaning, I start to laugh, laugh at my moaning, at myself, and in the end, I laugh at my problems all together. And I don't mean to minimize whatever you're going through, but isn't it almost always true that it could be worse? Of course, I'm sure someone, somewhere out there has it so bad that they're not sure it could be worse, and if you are that person, I hope something I have said was in at least some way helpful; I'm sorry if it wasn't. May you find that even with the bad can come a little good :)
If you find that crying makes you feel better, than go for it, by all means cry! But if you find that crying makes you feel worse, and I've been there, follow these important steps: 1) think about someone who cares about you and doesn't want you to cry and 2) hear their voice say to you gently, "don't cry", because that person wouldn't want you to cry. Works for me every time.
Now for the fifth and final option...
5. Do Something Productive:
When you've had a bum day, one of the few things that can always redeem it is simply by doing something productive. There's nothing like getting some basic chores out of the way to make me feel a bit better, whether it's doing my laundry, cleaning my room, filling out paperwork, mailing something important, cashing that check I got a while ago, or even just sitting down to read that book I kept telling myself I'd finish. The idea here is that by doing a few productive things you can give your life a sense of order and control again, even if only a little. It is also a great way to put all that anxious energy into use/practice/whatever-you'd-like to-call-it. My mom says that every now and then I go into what she calls "white whirlwind mode," where I just go on a productivity rampage all on my own. I find it to be... therapeutic to say the least. It also gives me a warrant to finally relax: "So some things didn't go right today, but I did these good things, so now I'm going to relax for the day. Done."
Now for the fifth and final option...
5. Do Something Productive:
When you've had a bum day, one of the few things that can always redeem it is simply by doing something productive. There's nothing like getting some basic chores out of the way to make me feel a bit better, whether it's doing my laundry, cleaning my room, filling out paperwork, mailing something important, cashing that check I got a while ago, or even just sitting down to read that book I kept telling myself I'd finish. The idea here is that by doing a few productive things you can give your life a sense of order and control again, even if only a little. It is also a great way to put all that anxious energy into use/practice/whatever-you'd-like to-call-it. My mom says that every now and then I go into what she calls "white whirlwind mode," where I just go on a productivity rampage all on my own. I find it to be... therapeutic to say the least. It also gives me a warrant to finally relax: "So some things didn't go right today, but I did these good things, so now I'm going to relax for the day. Done."
Also, go to bed you little nincompoop. I know this was a long one, but I hope that helps, even if only a little :) Also, a song for you!
P.S. My roommate put point #2 into practice by yelling, "GO BACK FROM WHENCE YOU CAME!" to her proofs homework while throwing it on the ground. She is amazing XD Also, this blog made me late to something again, only this time I don't win the internet, but at least it was optional :P Also, here is a great going to the store spoof!:
P.S. My roommate put point #2 into practice by yelling, "GO BACK FROM WHENCE YOU CAME!" to her proofs homework while throwing it on the ground. She is amazing XD Also, this blog made me late to something again, only this time I don't win the internet, but at least it was optional :P Also, here is a great going to the store spoof!:
(so many spoofs, so many O_O)
